Talking to Myself

“Where have the rants gone?”

“They are in hiding.”

“Are they hiding behind the drop down menu which reads, ‘Rants’?”

“Yes.”

“Seems like a shit hiding place.”

“It is. Rants are inherently bad hiders.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, thing is, they want to be seen. They want to be loud and obnoxious and preachy, but those things are not always welcome in the room. So, when they hide they advertise their location.”

“Seems silly.”

“Rants typically are.”

“So, you’re saying they felt unwelcome and went into hiding in hopes someone would find them?”

“Sort of. They were told they were unwelcome and that they should find a new place.”

“By whom?”

“Me.”

“Why?”

“Because they were making it negative and bullshitty around here, and that’s not what this place is for.”

“Really? Because that seems like what this place is for.”

“Yes, I know, that’s the problem. That’s not what this place was supposed to be for. It was supposed to be a place for me to share my writing hobby with friends and family and the internet at large.”

“I see. So how did the rants take over?”

“I got distracted.”

“By the state of the world in general?”

“Among other things, yes… But let’s not talk about that. Let’s talk about what we’re here for.”

“Writing?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, what about it?”

“. . .”

“Nothing?”

“Not really.”

“Why not?”

“Dunno… Not feelin’ it?”

“That’s bullshit, you know that right?”

“Yeah.”

“So what’s the real reason?”

“Civilization VI?”

“. . . You’ve had that game for a week. You haven’t written anything new since January.”

“So?”

“It’s March.”

“What?! Since when?”

“. . . Okay, you at least have to have some ideas, right? Something you’re working on, or should be working on?”

“Well, there’s Mauwale.”

“That’s the novella you started in 2015.”

“Yes.”

“And you think that counts as a work in progress?”

“It’s on my radar!”

“Fine, what else. You belong to a writing group right?”

“AWR”

“Okay, have they got anything going on you can work on?”

“Few things. . . I started something a while back but it stalled out. Guess I could try to get it going again.”

“Anything else.”

“I told Pete I wanted to do some world-building for him but I haven’t done anything.”

“Wait. . . You’ve basically completely stalled out on writing but you’re making writing based commitments to other people?”

“I thought having someone else expecting it would make me more inclined to do it.”

“Has that ever worked?”

“Sometimes. . . Pete was also a bad choice though. He regularly encourages me to play Civilization VI.”

“Hmm, yeah. . . Oh! What about that other thing?”

“What other thing?”

“The Facebook thing. The thing you were telling your brother about.”

“Oh! The Choose-Your-Own-Adventure story?”

“Yeah. That seems like a great way to get back in the groove. Just doing a few hundred words every couple of days.”

“I don’t really have any ideas though.”

“You don’t need ideas; just a starting point.”

“Like what?”

“. . .”

“. . .”

“. . .”

“See, hard isn’t it.”

“. . . Wait! I got one.”

“Okay. Hit me.”

“You wake up, hung over, in the back of a carpeted van at a rest-stop alongside the interstate.”

“That’s a terrible first sentence.”

“It’s not the first sentence, it’s the starting scenario. Now go. Write it.”