Dear Humblebrag

Dear Humblebrag,

Nobody cares about the nice thing you did today.

Nobody cares that you bought lunch for a complete stranger.

Nobody cares that he was homeless.

Nobody cares that he was recently released from a 10-year prison sentence and has no family or friends on island to turn to.

Nobody cares that you didn’t bother to ask what he was in prison for because it’s none of your damned business.

Nobody cares that he’d just left the DMV where he’d acquired a state ID so that he could finally get a job.

Nobody cares how proud of that he was.

Nobody cares how excited he was to show it to someone, or how happy he looked in the picture.

Nobody cares that he was super nice.

Nobody cares that his name was Robert.

Nobody cares that Robert likes tuna fish sandwiches, just like you.

Nobody cares that despite the pleasant conversations, genuine smiles and laughter, you were still kind of worried he was going to rob you in broad daylight.

Nobody cares that he was African American and some part of you thinks that’s relevant.

Nobody cares how ashamed of that you are.

Nobody cares how appreciative he was.

Nobody cares that he shook your hand and promised to make the 12” sandwich last for days.

Nobody cares how good it made you feel to do a nice thing for a nice person.

Nobody cares, Humblebrag.

Nobody cares.

 

–You

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